Hello, boys and girls! Take your seats! As we begin class today, I DON’T want you to put away your smartphones. We are going to learn about SOCIAL MEDIA!
FaceBook? I know it exists!
“So, Professor, wtf is social media?”
I’m about to tell you! Let’s look at the separate words, first.
1. Social: Pertaining to, or characterized by, friendly affiliation or companionship in society.
“Social is used as an adjective! That makes sense!”
It is? It does?
2. Media: The employment of mass communication through use of the internet, television, radio, and newspapers (LOL), often referenced collectively.
Hello there, boys and ghouls! Let’s talk about something really fun: HALLOWEEN!
Damn, straight! Hooray at the very least! I love Halloween. It is the best day of every year. It combines three of the world’s most awesome things: sugar, horror, and lying about your true identity.
You bet your ass! In fact, I have a 3 step process for maximum learnifacation! (Kiss my balls, spellchecker)!
Step 1: LEARN STUFF!
“The word Halloween or Hallowe’en dates to about 1745 and is of Christian origin. The word “Halloween” means “hallowed evening” or “holy evening”. It comes from a Scottish term for All Hallows’ Eve (the evening before All Hallows’ Day). In Scots, the word “eve” is even, and this is contracted to e’en or een. Over time, (All) Hallow(s) E(v)en evolved into Halloween.”
Hello again, boys and girls. Are you ready for more free education? GOOD!
Today we will discuss a competitive sport that is famous around the entire planet:
Today we will are learning about: PRO WRESTLING.
Is cheering the opposite of yawning?
Awww yeeeaah! Is that an illegal foreign object in your singlet, or are you just happy to see me? Whatever. Let’s kick this off!
AT A GLANCE
- Opponents enter into the combat area, known as the ring. (It is also known as the squared circle.)
Hey there, boys and girls. It’s time for another awesome lesson with Professor Bovi! Are you excited? Good! Let’s get started!
You know what’s awesome? This:
Salma Hayek. The base of every food pyramid.
You know what else is awesome? PIZZA!
Hot and refreshing, like Salma Hayek.
So, WTF is Pizza?
That is the stupidest question ever. Fuck you.
Step one: Make some dough
Take flour, sugar, yeast, kosher salt, olive oil and water, and mix them. You can find the proper amounts on Google.
There are no words to describe how awesome 2012 has been. Thank you all for being so dope.
That being said, we need your help. There are dozens of photos/videos floating around out there. We want them. We will use them to spread the word about our collective awesomeness. Email them to us, with the name you want attached to the photo, and we may put them on our website! For example:
Nicholas John Steffen
Our email is Theband@bourbonmissilecrisis.com. Let’s do this!
Playing at The Whisky the first time was pretty damn cool. But as soon as we found out we were headlining a Whisky gig on August 24th, we nearly lost our shit! To get you excited as well, we devised a raffle giveaway. At our headlining Whisky show, three individuals who buy tickets from us will be picked at random for prizes:
- 3rd prize: a BMC Sticker
- 2nd prize: a BMC T-Shirt
- 1st prize: an electric guitar, signed by the band
That's right, electric guitar! We ain't fucking around here!